bob’s big boy

the greasy oversized

boyish smiling

checkerboard overall wearing statue

his hair like a chocolate ice-cream swirl

clink clink clink

silverware hitting plates and bowls

a crowded restaurant full of chattering people

vinyl red booths

my mom taking us there as a treat

pies in all the fingerprinted glass cases

the crunch of the grilled cheese perfectly buttered

gooey on the inside

dipping it into a salted beef broth

vegetable beef

sitting next to my mom in the booth

my blond hair in messy braids

i lost my tooth and my red lips form a shy broken

heart smile

who is this guy we are with

i don’t like him

he seems weak and false to my child eyes

i stay quiet and eat my grilled cheese

i wonder if anyone notices

the velcro tennis shoes i’m wearing

we shopped at the thrift store

and I found some worn in pink ones

i like they way they feel

soft and springy

when i play hop scotch

i feel strong when i wear them

i feel special

clink clink clink

a mesmerizing dance of silverware

like a white noise orchestra

i slowly slink down and rest my head

on my moms denim jeans

heavy eyelids

in my dream state

i feel peaceful amongst the noise

safe in her lap with a full belly

hearing the clinking as it weaves into a melodic song

that to this day i remember as i sit here eating

my crunchy grilled cheese

wishing i could sleep safely in her lap

like i did when i was young

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