holding depth

holding depth

for the right ones to see

misunderstood overlooked

see me as a precious gem

pulling all the heaviness strings

even when i’m silent

they are drinking from me

stares blank enough to believe

they’ve become you

wish you only knew

that these dark sins are covered

with the luminous

breathing takes me to a light

along with a precious will

to burn the pain

of quicksand flashes

an eternal radiance

scattered of granules

across the sky

where secret stars ache

the burden of greatness

pieces of perfection

held separate

and sometimes kissed

in moments of being

mindless

calm me ancient

shaking leaves from limbs

the dance is fragile

forgetting winter sins

as comfort smiles

mystery turns barren without

its lingering gaze

and awakened ones know

the lies that bare shame

so whose crumpled wings

lie here treacherous

i’ve wandered through the desert

to save the fallen me

who is dying here in painful stride

the rustling winds of time

calm me ancient

to witness that the greatest pains

can borne the sacred

cold lullaby

a promise on his lips

forgiveness for the lies that crumbled

my pale eclipse

the aftermath of a love

stirred the calm waters

from the sacrificial dove

who asked humbly for burial of me

and my sweetness of a dream

that rained freedom

far too wide for the eyes to grasp

far too anciently set in stone

to recover its shrewd past

a lover in a cold lullaby

who still foolishly sees the way

beyond rusty eyes

that mirror your own disguise

your own subtle betrayal

the sierra

give me the salty shore

and i’ll turn my cheek

to its endless rolling

i’ll take part no more

nude skinned burnt and kissed

by sun and sand

instead give me the sullen sierra

and i’ll open my hand

to the parched summer earth

looking up wildly

to lonesome vertical heights

and my struggle to climb them

shows me my own depths

goodbye lazy ocean ease

i want to be breathless

and reaching

climbing

exploring

this new land

maybe one day i’ll return famished

but for now i do not know

love erase

if i could go back

and love erase

i’d make it all anew

the purity in your stare

as you traced my face

silent before dawn

for your heart i’d do the same

and search deep its silhouettes

as my touch moved over

its carvings and edges

i’d never grasp

my hold

i’d watch and see

instead of planning everything

i’d let time move

at its glacial speed

until you were ready for me

supple mountain

as the night i’ve seen you

surfacing from the blue blackness

of ocean depths my home

and in the estrangement of our paths crossing

you brought me to my first sunrise

a liquid emergence of light filling my insides rosy

the stained bleeding of my oldness cracked upon

the shimmering rays

as they poured up through the desert terrain

echoing faintly the dreams stirred

and i closed my eyes in wakefulness

bathing in her warmth

horizons of supple mountain

enveloping her orb

gently rolling around the earth’s curves

sensual in her longing to rise

above the lands watching over

the children below

wandering

wilted stab

my love for you was a wilted stab

desperate and clinging

like a root to dirt

coiled calmly numb in slumber

an ancient golden field of openness yearning

for the sun’s rays to caress its grasses

a twisted and simple mystery

of pure innocence

loving the angles and complexities with power

the yearning for it to last forever

denial of the subtle decay

and breaking apart of our heart tangles

lies that whispered sweet nothings and broken truth

where he wanted to be the man of my grand

outpouring

so much to give

but choosing the child side instead of a man

i can’t force you to love me

but you made me believe what your words delivered

but never rang true